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- if you can't beat them, join them
- if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull
- if you can't do the time, don't do the crime
- if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
- if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen
- if you don't mind me saying
- if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging
- if you fly with the crows, you get shot with the crows
- if you go far enough left, you get your guns back
- if you know what I mean
- if you know, you know
- if you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas
- if you lie with dogs you will get fleas
- if you like
- if you'll pardon the expression
- if you mess with the bull, you get the horns
- if you pay bananas, you get monkeys
- if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys
- if you please
- if you're not Dutch, you're not much
- if you say so
- if you see what I mean
- if you snooze, you lose
- if you snooze you lose
- if you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything
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