friend with benefits

English

Etymology

Possibly first used by Alanis Morissette for her 1995 song “Head over Feet”, although in the original context it seems to refer to a committed rather than a casual relationship.[1]

Pronunciation

Audio (AU) (file)

Noun

friend with benefits (plural friends with benefits)

(idiomatic, slang, non-vulgar) A friend with whom one has a casual sexual relationship.
Synonyms: fuck buddy; see also Thesaurus:casual sexual partner
- 2003, Alexander Hart, Time in Question:
  “I’m just saying that usually when you have a friend who’s a girl, it’s not just that she’s your friend. Either you’ve known her a long time, or she’s a friend with benefits.”
- 2003, William Marsiglio, “Making Males Mindful of Their Sexual and Procreative Identities: Using Self-Narratives in Field Settings”, in Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, volume 35, number 5:
  Gender norms influence how young men orient themselves to sexual partners and girlfriends, and men’s procreative consciousness is sometimes affected by how they define a potential or actual sex partner (e.g., casual or serious girlfriend, “friend with benefits”, hookup).
- 2004, Cynthia Henry, Discovering Normal:
  “Can I be so bold as to ask if I can be a friend with benefits?”
- 2005, Jennifer Klein, University of Pennsylvania:
  The College Relationship is the hook up that turns into a “a person to hang out with,” more or less, a friend with benefits. This is a person whose company you sincerely enjoy, and you choose to spend extra time both hanging out and hooking up with, but there is no spoken commitment involved.

Related terms

friendship with benefits

Descendants

→ Canadian French: ami avec bénéfices (calque)

Translations

friend with whom one has a casual sexual relationship

Arabic: please add this translation if you can
Catalan: amic amb drets m, amiga amb drets f
Chinese:
Mandarin: 炮友 (pàoyǒu), 性夥伴 (zh), 性火伴 (xìnghuǒbàn), 性伴侶 (zh) (xìngbànlǚ)
Danish: bolleven c
Finnish: seksikaveri
French: sex friend (fr) m, ami avec bénéfices m, amie avec bénéfices f
German: Freund mit gewissen Vorzügen m, Freundin mit gewissen Vorzügen f, Sexfreund m, Sexfreundin f
Hebrew: יָזִיז‎ (he) m (yazíz), יְזִיזָה‎ f (yezíza)
Hungarian: szexhaver, szexbarát
Icelandic: bólfélagi m
Indonesian: teman tapi mesra
Italian: amico di letto m, amica di letto f
Japanese: セックスフレンド (sekkusu furendo), セフレ (sefure)
Korean: 섹스파트너 (sekseupateuneo), 섹파 (sekpa)
Norwegian: pulevenn m, knullekompis m
Polish: przyjaciel z bonusem m, przyjaciel z bonusami m, przyjaciółka z bonusem f, przyjaciółka z bonusami f
Portuguese: amigo colorido m, ficante m or f (Brazil), peguete (pt) m or f (Brazil)
Romanian: prieten cu beneficii m, prietenă cu beneficii f
Russian: партнёр по се́ксу m (partnjór po séksu), партнёрша по се́ксу f (partnjórša po séksu)
Spanish: amigo con ventajas m, amiga con ventajas f, amigo con derechos m, amiga con derechos f, amigovio (es) m, amigovia f, amigo con derecho a roce m, amiga con derecho a roce f, follamigo (es) m
Swedish: idkarvän c
Ukrainian: друг з привілеями m (druh z pryvilejamy), подруга з привілеями f (podruha z pryvilejamy)
Vietnamese: please add this translation if you can

References

Alanis Morissette (lyrics and music) (1995), “Head over Feet”, in Jagged Little Pill: “You're the best listener that I've ever met / You're my best friend, best friend with benefits”